It is just turning 10am and already I wanna go home.  My eyes are sore and puffy from hayfever, my nose is running like a tap and i'm tired.  I was so deep in sleep this morning that I didn't know what day or who, what, when, how did it start?  LOL,  I think I am still half asleep now.  I hate those days where I just don't feel like working because it just makes the day go slower and makes me more and more tired.  Anyhoo on a better note, it really isn't long until Silverstone now, I really can't wait.  Helen and I were going to have a practice at putting the tent up tonight but it said on the weather forecast it was going to rain and dad said not to bother coz there is nowt worse than packing a wet tent! 

So I need to pack some stuff tonight, i'm gunna try and limit myself to just a few clothes and make sure i've got the essentials.  I've made a list, I love my lists!  Charlie is going to lend me a penknife, i've got the pump for the airbeds so I better not forget that or Helen and Tara will be spit roasting me over the bbq with an apple in my mouth haha...no seriously lol!  TORCH, I need a torch, I am still scared of the dark even though I am 23 years old but mostly it could be dark when we are still trying to figure out how to put the tent up aha.  Hopefully if we do struggle some other campers might take pity on us, I hope so and maybe I could do the water work thing and say 'were just girls, we can't do it' haha!   In fact, I might just do that anyway so we don't have to put it up haha!  Well i've decided to be good and i'm gunna take some quorn sausages and burgers for the bbq, I don't know whether mum and dad were just trying to be nice but they said I was looking trim this morning so I must be doing something right.  

Change of topic...last night I went to see Shrek the third with Charlie, it was really funny.  I think the Donkey is probably the 2nd best cartoon to be ever invented but Homer Simpson has got to be the frst best cartoon on the planet.  We saw the trailer for the Simpson Movie, it looks awesome, can't wait to see that.  OH OH OH, GUESS WHAT?  I booked tickets to see the new Harry Potter on the day it comes out, now that I am really excited for.  I'm a huge Harry Potter fan....to be continued (I really should be working)!

This weekend was just what I needed, a good old piss up and a night out with the girls.  Tara was still kinda recovering from a sickness bug (I knew she was feeling rough when she said she didn't really enjoy her Jack Daniels, which is not like Tara at all lol) and her mum isn't a big drinker...so what do I do?  Drink for the pair of them ahahah!  I'm not sure how many Jack Daniels and diet cokes I had but I do know that they were all doubles with not much diet coke in them lol.  Oh well I enjoyed myself and give Tara and her mum and good laugh too so who gives a rats ass eh?  Now I do vaguely remember telling and demonstrating to the guy behind the counter at the burger bar that I could communicate with dolphins haha.  I bet he thought I was completly insane making that noise, it drives my mum crazy lol.  I don't really know where it came from, it started off like a little farting noise I make with the side of my mouth and when my cousin Daniel for some reason started making a noise like a dolphin it just latched on and now whenever i'm happy, excited, overwhelmed or just content it just seems to come out of me haha.  So there I am, waiting for a burger and chips that I SHOULDN'T be eating coz i'm on a diet but after all that drinking I needed to soak it up and a salad...not that you'd get one at that time just wouldn't do it.  I ate that burger and those chips with mayo like a complete pig, you might as well have put it in a big trough coz I had it all over my hands and mouth.  I remember us getting home and eating at the table, Tara's mum was squealing over the slugs outside haha, I think her step dad was laughing and the dog, Jack was just sniffing me!  Luckily I wasn't sick but I had a near scare so Tara and me decided, actually I think Tara decided to switch places in bed coz for some reason I always sleep near the wall and she sleeps near the door haha, we're like a married couple that has already chosen our bed sides.  Anyhoo I wasn't sick...yaaay!  But my body always gets really hot after i've been drinking Jack Daniels and it takes a little while to flush out of me. God I love that drink though and  I really shouldn't, it is strong stuff and expensive...my friend Charlie reckons i'm high maintanence haha...as if!  But yea, Jack Daniels, I love the taste of it, especially with diet coke and I have been known to drink it neat before.  Well i've paid for it today and especially that bus ride home from Tara's house.  My stomach was churning and gurgling going over the bumps....WHY DOES SHEFFIELD HAVE TO HAVE SUCH SHITTY ROADS???  Ugh I felt really sick and couldn't wait to get off.  I couldn't face another bus plus i'd got a shit load to carry from the stuff I managed to heave to Tara's so I just got a taxi.  That wasn't much more comfortable either, I still ran upstairs when I got in to the toilet.  Again, I wasn't sick but i've felt crappy all day.  I had a bit of a sleep, and then went downstairs and mum was making salad and jacket potatoes, it was really nice but I still felt a bit groggy.  So i've been in bed with the laptop on my knee, just watched Judy Garland's biography which was in 10 parts so that took me a while.  I love Judy Garland, i've never really watched any of her other films except for The Wizard of Oz and that is one of my most favourite films ever.  Even when the credits begin I am crying, not with sadness but with joy, it is a fantastic film and when Judy sings Somewhere over the rainbow I just go to pieces everytime.  She was so beautiful and her voice was just so amazing.  Its sad how she died, it really is, she didn't deserve that!  It upsets me to think of how many talented stars in showbiz have their lives fucked up by drugs.  After I watched it I then straight away went and found her singing Somewhere over the rainbow in The Wizard of Oz.  The ending was upsetting so I wanted to see Judy at her finest and it put more of a smile on my face and made me happy about Judy Garland and how talented and beautiful she was instead of thinking about the problems she had through her life.  

Now i'm just listening to random songs, I don't know how i've gone from Judy Garland to the Bloodhoung Gang but ya know lol!  Their videos are so funny, Jimmy Pop really cracks me up.  I watched an interview with Ville Valo, Bam Margera and Jimmy Pop a while ago on Valo Daily and he was really making me laugh when he was talking about when he discovered HIM and how he thought Ville was a hot chick lol.  Oh Lord speaking of Ville, Tara and I were watching the HIM dvd (like we always do if we go to each other's houses) and we were totally drooling over him (like that we always do lol), but not JUST drooling over him but making noises where if someone could hear us would wonder what the hell we were doing haha.  There is a gig they did in Berlin, I think from 2000 and he just looks soooo ldkjdsjlhkdilvndfndljd!  This jet black slicked back hair, those sexy sexy eyes and that tall thin figure and flat stomach not to mention that cheekiness and slight cockiness he has which almost makes me wanna burst into the screen and give him what for.  He's NAUGHTY, naughty, naughty boy as I always call him, which makes Tara howl with laughter.  She made me laugh earlier too with her rather crude but halarious comments about him lol.  I love spending time with Tara, she's completly bonkers just like me and we hit it off so well that I often say to her if she was a bloke i'd be with her lol.  

So what else do I have to report before I go to bed?  Oh yes, I had my hair cut and coloured yesterday.  I decided to go darker than my natural colour and have some subtle red streaks for a bit of oomph!  My hair gets to a certain length where it just starts to get crappy so I go to the hairdressers and have the full lot done, I love it.  It actually looks really nice, i'm really pleased with it and the red makes it look kinda cool, feel like i've gone wild for a change haha! 

Rightho well i'm gunna go (oooh that rhymes)....not long before Silverstone now and yes i've got that tent I was on about, Helen is going to come round on tuesday to have a practice at putting it up haha!  

Bye for now xxxxx

PS.  I'm listening to Hanson ahahaha, I have such a weird variety of taste in music! 

I'm going to start this on a good note coz right now i'm really happy and although it has been a horrible and very VERY wet two days for most people in Sheffield and Rotherham we (my family) on the other hand have had a little bundle of joy given to us.  His name is Dylan, he was born today at 12.03pm, he weighs 8lb and 1oz and he is gorgeous!  He is my second Nephew and is my Brother's Son.  He and my Sister in Law now have two beautiful children and I couldn't be happier.  I just can't believe how quick he seemed to come, when Owen was born it was like we were waiting ages...well we were lol!  Owen seems to have taken to him quite well, he's even held him and has been trying to feed him chocolate buttons haha!  Owen will be 2 in August, doesn't time fly eh?  

So, it seems like a lot of Sheffield is still in a mess.  Yesterday was complete bedlam what with the severe flooding we had.  It took me two hours to get to work on the bus and normally that bus should take 15-20 mins tops.  I was pissed off at the time but that was nothing compared to what other people suffered so can't really complain.  I had Sharon Osbourne's book to keep me company and I think I must have read half of her life whilst waiting in the traffic haha.  Also getting home wasn't too bad as someone was kind enough to give me a lift home at work so I didn't get wet much, which was much appreciated.  Anyone who is from the UK will no doubt have seen the news and seen people having to be air lifted out of buildings, people wading through knee high water, cars abonded and floating down the road, it has been crazy and still is.  The River Don burst its banks and caused absolute chaos.  You should see Meadowhall?  That favourite shop of mine down the Lanes that sells all the HIM stuff is going to be fucked!  The last I heard was that the Ulley Resoviour (I can't spell that word for shit and i'm too lazy to look it up) was at a critical stage for bursting.  Luckily though they have closed the M1 which I think is the best thing, coz if that lot goes...I dread to even think what it would be like.  

Well, apart from the flooding and the arrival of Dylan I don't think much else has happened seeing as i've hardly been anywhere except home and work.  Tomorrow I have my first session of counselling and i'm a little bit nervous but i'm sure it will go fine.  Once I get talking, fucking hell, she'll need counselling more than me haha!  To be perfectly honest though t I think it has come at the right time, obviously i've had to wait a while and i'm already back at work and taking my happy pills but i've had a bit of upset over the last few weeks and have generally been putting myself down quite a lot lately.  I know I shouldn't but hopefully i'm going to try harder at being a little less sensitive and lot more positive and ASSERTIVE!

My thoughts go out to the families who lost their 13 year old Son who drowned in the River Sheaf also to the family of the 68 year old man who got swept away and killed when getting out of his car to cross the road xxxxxx

Me (crazy ranting girl), Tara (complete nutball), Helen (f1 maniac) and her friend Zara (not met her yet but will think of a name soon i'm sure) will soon be packing our shit and heading off to Silverstone.  We'll be sleeping for 4 nights in a tent and guess who has been left in charge of finding one?  LOL, yep, moi!  

So i'm thinking, yep, tent, easy enough, no problem...I get to CCC and there were about 100 (ok i'm exaggerating a little) to choose from!  Big ones, little ones, i'm not fucking sleeping in that ones, i'm not paying for that ones, it was nuts.  Anyhoo after much ranting with dad and much bugging the people in the store I think i've pretty much settled on one that I think will be perfect.  It sleeps 8 people and there are 4 rooms. Now when it say it sleeps 8 people that means realistically it sleeps 4 and I don't give a shit what the sign says.  Last year we slept in what was supposed to be a 3 man tent and I was ready for killing some twat by the end of it all so i'm not being uncomfortable for no one this time.  It is £179 which between us which ain't too bad and there is plenty of room for our crap and for Helen to pace up and down if things aren't going right.   Putting it up is going to be a whole different story but if I have to pay someone to put it up or buy two strapping men a couple of pints then so be it!

Anyhoo, i'm getting really excited about it.  Helen says she is going to buy a bbq, so that could either mean nice burgers and sausages for all or the tent going up in flames haha!  Helen is also taking her video camera so i'm hoping we will make some kind of video diary which will be halarious even if it just ends up as a rant tape!  Dad is gunna lend us his fold up chairs, i've got a cooler for my lagar and my quorn sausages haha (yep, still sticking to that diet), so should be all set.  I ain't buying no merchandise coz I bought enough shit last year so i'm gunna just wear all that and take a sneak peak at Helen's program (not that she knows yet lol).  But i'm telling ya, going to Silverstone is one expensive business so for anyone thinking of going and especially camping, do not take it lightly unless you know what you are doing.  This is our second time of camping at Silverstone and I bet you we will still be unprepared for something.  I guess most of the time it adds to the excitment but when you're cold and wet or hot and sweaty it just is not funny!  

LOL, I can't stop singing that (my subject) ever since I saw Sleepaway Camp 1,2 and 3.  Well i've not quite finished watching the third one yet, I tried to be clever and watch them all in one night but got too tired..I know, i'm a pussy but I love my sleep.  The first and second film were the best anyway but the third one is pretty amusing.  Angela Baker is one sick puppy haha.  If my parents had ever tried to send me to camp (not that we really have that kind of thing in England), I would have right out refused after seeing that film lol.  You gotta love cheesy 80's horror but the fucking ending to the first one, i'm not gunna be able to get rid of that facial expression for quite some time!  I won't say too much but the ending is pretty shocking, in fact according to what I have read Sleepaway Camp has the most shocking ending to a horror film to date!  

Sooooo, what have I been up to besides watching horror films, I hear you say (NOT)!  Last night I went out around Doncaster, not a bad night out actually although some of the music made me want to stick a fork in my eye and smush it around until something half decent came on.  Fortunately there was some cheesy music to listen to every so often and the odd oldie which you just love to dance to so can't complain too much.  AND get this, in Doncaster there is a club where you pay £12 to get in and your drinks are free alllllll night, how cool is that?  The catch is though trying to get to the bar and trying not to knock out some bitch banging her glass on the counter demanding another drink!  Some of the girls really do spoil themselves when they go out, if they weren't such bitches they'd actually be quite attractive but their nastiness makes them look ugly!

Funny/scary thing happened to me earlier!  I'm assuming my nephew has been to our house either some time this morning or yesterday coz when I pressed the remote to change the channel on sky his little toy car moved and fell on the floor with a right crash.  I proper shit my pants until I realised what it was!  Yes, the car moves when you press the remote for the tv,! was funny when it happened to dad, the car was right at the side of him when he changed channel, mum said he jumped out of his skin almost lol!

Rightho well i'm gunna go, I think I need another poo coz I keep farting!  Love you all, luv Helen x